How to turn white males into everyday allies
When people talk about bias & barriers or privilege & power, older white males seem to be the implicit object of description. Increased activism (and polarisation) intensifies the blame & shame on this group. At the same time, they are asked – or urged – to become active allies and empathetic mentors. Can we have it all?
The DEI Trilogy ‘Stop polarisation & exclusion’ – part 2: The Pale Male – desirable ally or source of all evil?
Who serves as inspiration for DE&I? Voices that were not heard before, stories that were not told and barriers that were not visible in the past. Without these, we would not have today’s DE&I landscape and going forward equity in all respects is required to keep and nurture the variety of realities. Officially, the traditionally dominant, privileged or majority groups were always included in the proclaimed definition of diversity. At the same time, we always made sure not to let the pendulum swing all the way back but orchestrate a healthy learning process for everyone involved.
White (old, straight, Christian…) males: desirable allies or source of all evil?
A number of different root cause analyses seem to be agreeing on one clear result: white males were in charge when unfair processes, criteria and cultures were established; the effects can be still be seen today. Similar to climate emergency, mistakes are found in the past and this leads to blaming the older generation (1). Being in the intersection of ‘white male’ and ‘old’ has hence become a challenge – even for an activist pioneer.
My pale male experience: from pioneer to penalised
When I started my research and development of DE&I for Europe in the 2000s my data, insight and recommendations were met with respect and resulted in support. In recent years, I have frequently been devalued, challenged and even insulted, including at so-called ‘safe space’ events. The flip-it-to-test-it method showed that these reactions were in fact related to my personal demographics as, e.g., in this case. What worries me more than my personal experience is the wider pattern behind this. I see three severe issues in the DE&I space related to how activists and often also experts react to or deal with older white males.
- How credible can DE&I be if it does not include white males in a positive, constructive way in the discourse and development?
- How does DE&I deal with positive stereotypes about women and minorities or negative stereotypes about older white males?
- How will DE&I achieve positive, active allyship if the point of departure is blame, accusation and an accumulation of inherited issues?
I have summarised some key thoughts about this in a 5-minute video on the occasion of the Diversity Week in Luxembourg where I key-noted at a CEO dinner. Watch it on LinkedIn or YouTube
How identity and DE&I expertise interrelate – or not
One key element in the current dynamics between ‘diverse individuals and white males’ (2) is the value or connotation that being non-white, non-male or non-old has received in the course of recent years. I have discussed the arguable value of being different which has a specific relevance when it comes to driving change and developing organisations related to DE&I:
- As mentioned above, amplifying personal perspectives and experiences that were not recognised in the past is key to understanding the scope of DE&I, to practice inclusion and create a feeling of (finally) belonging. This anecdotal input must continue to be a core element in all DE&I change processes.
- At the same, conducting comprehensive organisational analyses and designing related change strategies is a task that requires specific DE&I knowledge, skills and experience. This may be more often connected to personal background than in other qualification areas; these are, however, two different fields. I hope we, as DE&I Community, can agree that this expertise can be found in people from across the entire spectrum of identities, including older white males?
A number of interactions I had over recent years suggest, however, that people tend to make assumptions about the DE&I expertise of individuals based on their identity, and I have seen vastly negative outcomes when anecdotal, personal experience (or opinion) overrides insight-based expertise.
What it takes to drive change in DE&I – also by white males
Unlike 20+ years ago, we today know a ton about managing DE&I in organisations including the importance and impact of privilege and power – which were traditionally held by white males. Replacing privilege with equitable access to resources, (engagement / contribution), development and also power is a key change that can occur through evolution or revolution: The latter simply demands white males to give up their privilege and power while the former encourages reflection, and insight to eventually open up to include more diverse stakeholders to build the future together.
I have already discussed the destructive potential of the revolutionary approach and of activism, and we currently see a lot of indicators that CXOs (especially those who happen to be white or male or older) feel more attacked than supported in the DE&I space. Their questions and reactions suggest a disconnect of what is perceived as a personal, identity-driven agenda where they can (only) contribute from a personal perspective as well – while they do not see how DE&I should be part of their CXO role way beyond anecdotal, event-based or symbolic incidents.
Warning indicators from older white males or from CXOs
Here are some of those reactions that may well be indicative of a disconnected perception of DE&I
- “We are quite good at diversity, e.g. nationalities, what we need is equity / meritocracy / inclusion”
- “As a father of an adult daughter …”
- “Diversity is important, the business case is clear. Let’s make sure we embed it.”
- “I commit that the next [CXO or executive] hire will be [female or …].”
- “For me D&I is not about business – it is a fundamental / ethical value / conviction of ours.”
- “We don’t need D&I [expert] training – let’s just listen to our female / young / … diverse talent.”
Each of these (real life!) statements or reactions is likely to be a sign of a fundamental misconception or limited perception of D&I and a need to initiate further reflection and development.
Convert scepticism into support
The ENGINEERING D&I approach to winning white or male or older CXOs as diversity allies is based on our combined strength in insight-based, international and innovative thinking. In all our work with CXOs in recent years, open reflections of personal background, experiences and beliefs was critical. We apply a unique methodology of session series to ensure a healthy and constructive development.
Some of our biggest successes include all CXOs acting as sponsors of a new D&I strategy, spontaneously raising D&I at a leadership conference using live examples, volunteering as a sponsor for an insight-focused IWD event, running Inclusive Leadership training that leads to a change agenda of several quarters…
All these examples show that white or male or older individuals will become strong DE&I allies and truly inclusive leaders if and when we avoid stereotypical blaming or fierce accusation and encourage insight-focused reflection instead.
Further Reading
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-powerful-decisions-can-help-hinder-dei-same-time-michael-stuber
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/focused-feedback-from-followers-michael-stuber
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-di-can-learn-from-creative-professionals-michael-stuber
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/summary-evaluation-iwd2018-strong-messages-fails-michael-stuber
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-blackrock-heidi-klum-head-hunters-have-common-michael-stuber
